Still Searching For The Truth

Let’s Get Crackin!

SEARCHING FOR THE TRUTH – May 18, 2004

“I believe that suffering is a part of life. Without it, you have no life. It takes a strong person to overcome life’s obstacles which include the feelings of hurt and pain. I am a strong man and i know that i am a good man. I am a Prince and even a King in my own mind and heart. Not arrogant, just confident. Confidence and honesty is what i am about”

Ever since I left Paterson, I’ve preached the concept of struggle. In many ways, it’s what makes me who I am. When you go through emotional and financial hard times, it instills certain virtues in you. Some of these being the idea of hard work and never giving up. This is also what distinguishes those that are still in the streets and those that are trying to make something of themselves. One of the main themes is to learn from your own and others mistakes. I’ve been around some individuals growing up that made me decide that this is not how I want to be. The things that I’ve seen and been through would make a good book some day. A thriller novel, lol. All in all, I remain confident in who I am and what I am capable of. I wear Lance Armstrong’s band “Living STRONG”. To me, it not only symbolizes the fight for cancer but also the idea of overcoming life’s obstacles and remaining strong through it all.

“Me and my friend PancakeMan dwelled on this one concept that i want to talk about or type about. I might have changed it to fit what was on my mind but it is about finding that “significant other”. To have reached the state of true love or real love, one must reach compatibility in these 4 parts of a person: the mind, body, heart and soul. A couple must entice each others Minds with conversation and with communication. This is part of what keeps a relationship fresh. A couple who is able to please each others Bodies with the most intense and best feelings is part of a good relationship as well. In most cases, sex is the best when the couple Loves each other. Love makes sex turn into lovemaking. …. That is my opinion at least. Third is the Heart. Love comes from the Heart. So if you would do anything for that person and your heart races when you see that person, then that is love from the heart. You Love him or her. The last thing is the Soul. This is when you are willing to accept this person for his or her imperfections and when you are willing to work it out. You are willing to work and put in the effort to stay with this person because you know that they complete you in the other three ways. M(mind), B(body), H(heart), & S(soul). To complete each other on these 4 levels is real, everlasting love. Or something like that. I haven’t found it yet so i don’t know. Just a theory. Long-term married couples share your opinions”

Yes, I had a friend who called himself the Pancake Man. So anyway, here I am 21 and writing about what makes love true love. Lol. I still believe in the 4 aspects of compatibility. Physical attraction is where it starts with some people. We have developed into a vain society but it’s the truth. We meet someone attractive and then we see if we are compatible. There are those rare cases where we learn to truly love what was once a friend. There is no specific place where it starts but this is my opinion in 2012 (subject to change :)). On the Mind – we find common interests and establish a rapport in conversating about these topics. To quench each other’s minds you must have basic life conversations and the ability to listen intently. Truly listening is very important. Some individuals are not frank in sending out their message so you must also pay attention to subtle clues on what they want to communicate. Communication is key. You shouldn’t have too much in common as this can lead to a boring relationship. Body – sex, kisses, hugs, and any physical contact are ways to show how one feels for the other. This can easily be mistaken for lust and obsession. This is where some relationships become faulty. Sex is a pleasure sought by many men and women not looking for love. It can be hard to distinguish sex for the sake of displaying your affection (as well as pleasure) versus sex solely for pleasure. My opinion is that any kind of physical affection is important. Heart – The heart is the emotional vehicle behind a relationship. Your emotions after getting to know that person is what can be the determinant in deciding if you find love. What would you do for that person? How important is it to you that you make it work? In any serious relationship, you must sacrifice. Are you emotionally ready to make certain sacrifices to be with this person? Etc. Soul – Another abstract concept. You ever hear someone say something like, “I love your mind, body and soul”? Well, that’s the soul. Lol. The soul is a deep feeling of kinship. It is an unconditional friend. You can share thoughts, opinions, and feelings. This is why most people use the term “soul mate”. These are my 2012 opinions although each aspect can be discussed more extensively. I mean people write books on the subject of love. I’m writing one long paragraph, lol.

“Loyalty & Trust…….”friendships are required at a price” – Machiavelli   

“….. My mother raised me to be careful with who i hang out with, therefore it was always hard for me to trust people or associates. Now i thank God that he has blessed me with the right friends. Those that will be loyal to me and never abandon me for frivolous problems or situations, those that confide in me and me in them, those that will always be there for me no matter what, those are my true friends. Most people are wicked, they will break their word at every opportunity for their own utility. I have few friends. Few real friends. Be careful about who you pick as a friend. Betrayal is one of the worst feelings. I have felt this growing up. Now i have tryed to wisen up and be cautious with those i speak to or confide in. Some people are easily influenced by people and think that they have lots of so called “friends”. I’d rather have few true friends than deal with the possibility that i might have backstabbers and fakes in my camp. The quote in the beginning by Machiavelli is how i feel about obtaining a real friend. Favors will be required on both sides. You got to have each others backs”

At 21, I recognized that most individuals have hidden agendas. At 29, it is even more so than I anticipated. Friendship has become a selfish need. We want someone to go out with, talk to, cry with, or keep company. Are we willing to reciprocate for the other end? I can honestly say that I have some friends that I just see when I need company. Those I call associates. I don’t take the term “friend” lightly. It involves trust and that’s where it gets shakey. Some “friends” play the part in order to get what they want. This is mostly the case when you have friends of the opposite sex. So yeah, I think I have well under 200 Facebook “friends”. Maybe just half of those are true friends and most are really good associates.

“…he should proceed in a temperate mode with prudence and humanity so that too much confidence does not make him incautious and too much diffidence does not render him intolerable.” – The Prince by Machiavelli….

“Confident that i will succeed after the Army, confident that i will find the love of my life who will be compatible to me in those four states of self that i talked about earlier, confident that i am a good man because i constantly look to better myself, confident because i speak how i feel and tell it as it is regardless of the consequences or reactions, confident because i am me and no one can take that away from me”

It’s great to be confident but being overly confident can be viewed as being an asshole. Lol. Like everything else in life, you must keep a balance. I notice back then I quoted Machiavelli a few times. The Prince is one of my favorite books. In it, the author discusses certain virtues one must have in order to be a balanced prince or political leader. You can take alot from it when it comes to living your own life and being a better person.

I identify myself as a good man because I realize my worth. I’m a good man because I know that I will always strive to be a better person in every aspect (father, brother, friend, etc.). I am not perfect as I make mistakes as much as the next person. Once again, it’s all about learning from them. This is what makes a person humble. The fact that I can address all these topics and my opinions to the world shows that I have nothing to hide and am not afraid to express myself.